Last night I manage to have a great chat with chris. we spoke too much to even type everything out here. But the one that struck me the most was the moving on part... i've always felt like i was in a race a 400m dash infact and in this case i Fell down, So when ppl tell me to move on, it meant ''Jerald.. its ok... you lose but... nevermind ok? but too bad.... its over dude'' i just cant accept that cuz i always believe that I HAD to finish the race and infact with 400m there is still that slight chance ill win I CAN STILL MAKE IT!!!! ='(''

But then chris manage to get my thinking right... he told me ''Jerald, you are some how right, but it aint a 400m race ... its a 100m race.. falling down like in a race like that means a 110% Everything is Over, cuz no1 in the world has ever fallen down like that and still win a race like that... but But BUT ... when ppl tell you to Move On, It means '' Jerald... just finish your race, go back and reflect your race, something went wrong somewhere, dont make the same mistake. There are many more competitions coming you'll win them''.''

O M Goodness... that was just what i needed... it was perfect.. i cant believe it... i finally found it... ive found the meaning to Moving On.. Ive Found it.. Thank You God

I went to tell michelle of the good news. She was so Proud for me, i was so proud of myself.

But Short lived that statement.

This Morning, as i was taking my shower, i couldnt take it... i just realised... i dont wanna lose... i Dont Wanna Lose, I dont wanna lose... God ... i dont wanna lose this race... i dont wanna lose ...

Please... Please...Please this hurts so bad!

.

Walked to Michelle's room, sat behind her on the bed...

Jer: ''Michelle... ..i .... i dont wanna lose.''
Mic: "Er Ge... not again?''

*Tears start rollin

God... help me... Not again.

Akashi